Dan Neser the Mechanic Man
Dan Neser is one of the workers at Krusty Burgers. He works there as a mechanic. Lore Dan's life isn't an easy one, it all started as an accident, his birth, big boi over here was born on Friday the 13, Papa and Mama never paid attention to him, like hilarious times where he through shit on the walls, or the time he got into Papa's puff puff vegetable and got what they called a "high", or the time he grabbed Mama's lighter and burned down their countryside home. His older sister was a complete throbbing vein ass dick, big, loud, rich and above all a big huge gae. Nothing was ever put against her, and she ruled him with a iron fingernail. she was popular at skool but he wasn't, she failed every test, he did more than her and that's what counted, each of these lead to his pent up anger issues, til' he got one thing in his life, his higher education dipolmia, he was free, free, free, and all he had to do was ask for his parents for money for college cuz he broke. Dan walked away, face looking like he was about to make a twitter rant after seeing a tiny ass detail from an obscure show was changed in a reboot, storming in anger to his community college, all paid by him in cents and a few dollars he scourged up from the Megarfortnite store which was left in shambles, Dan was flying through college for his engineering major and tech minor, however at this point, he took out his anger on the slightest thing to someone walking wrong to a bird that flew too close, which he threw a thanos diaper at, he knew his life was unfair, but no one wanted to be hear him, he smeeled like onions or a black furry fox with an unhealthy obsession with red pandas and saying owo and uwu and the emoticon :I , he didn't like that, he tried to get a girlfriend, that didn't work, maybe a boyfriend but, he wasn't gae so he stayed away from that homo shit, but throughout he maintain a good grade, and passed with flying colors, now homeless and on his own, he needed a job otherwise he would look like Mr. Burns with Alhemzier and dehyration. Soon during a bad storm, the 22 year old with only an old toolbox from his grandfather and pair of pink overalls and a grey shirt and a picture of his grandfather who he remind him of Barney the Dinosaur on heroine, had found a huge sign reading "Rusty Burge",and near it was a large childhood clown who he remembered seeing going on the largest bender he had seen since his mother's. It held a massive burger, he stared at it, wondering if it actually alive, like the dumbfuck he is, he went and kicked it in its big pp area if it had one, next thing he knew, its huge eyes were staring at him, lighting up the area around him, fight and flight mood kicked in, first he was like "u hek, you look like a balding vsco girl, screeee" and then, zoidberged his way into the restaurant. Inside from what he could see, it appeared to be a normal Krusty Burgers. Until' he saw four bots on a small stage, a pink dummy thicc gae boi who's cheeks kept him from sneaking up anyone, a jester who looked like he caused one too many gambling addiction, a "in the kicten and make me a sandwich" woman, and what could only be disturbed as the worst ballerina man has ever made, eyes crossed, face looking like a blobfish out of water. He stayed away from them for now to read the small sign on the window, a "help needed" sign for a mechanic, big boi Neser was like "man, me need achool or sumthing" so he walks into an small office, inside was the manager, and he said "I need a job for achool, and student loans", he pulls out both of his dipolima from his tool box, manager was like "well my n-word you're hird" so he leaves to go and look around, stumbling into a child's play area, and a huge ass cross on the wall. On it was honest to God, the thing of Nightmares, a christian Diddly Daddily Neighbor, but worse it was looking straight at him, the thing just looked him up and down, and then stopped staring. Dan just slowly backed up and left to go the stage, he found himself going straight to the large fatty, he stared at it alot before, the thing talked "hey n-word may I help you", Dan was like "yah nah yah nah yah nah yah nah nah" so, he then, tried to talk to the ballerina but it just stood there, before falling over, crushing Dan's foot, "REE" went Dan. The Jester just tried to trick him into spending his last three dollars into playing a game, and the Woman screech like banshee asking if he wanted to krump with her, so he just left. Dan then, realized that he hadn't talk to the manager what he has to do, so he headed to the office, he said "look my nibber, I need to know what my job is" and the manager tells him "its just make sure the plastic crackers don't go and die, and fix up them up if they do, and get rid of virus in their codes, Frink did some stupid or whatever and now they get all like "screee, me need donuts and red panda chicken" and Dan was like "okey". About a week, Dan had already wanted to commit die and jettison his ass out of there bu,t his contract forced him to stay cause he not big read-y boi and forget to read that fine print, however with the screaming of poo poo costumers, with their bitchy ass children and their attitides on anti vax and garbage and wanting "fTAh 3 WhEn", he didn't care unless he got faced to deal with then, when one of the New Bots broke down because their plastic shits, The only bits of rest he had was in the lone backroon in the very back of the restuant at the very back of something at the very back of something else, at the very back of something else else, which in there with 4 broken robots, he sat on the smotach of the one yhe manager called "Romer" and he would vent out his frustration to the decrepit older bots, sometimes through words, other times through he would repetively screaming "fTAh 5 wHEnn" or kick them out of pure unfiltered rage. It was only one day after a night of drunken rampage out of just words of his father's will giving everything to his wife and daughter he was only give the words of "Try Better Next Time, Sonny boi", did he come into work with a large hangover did he started cussing out evryone there, Man, Women and Children, Workers or Non Workers with words of what the Irish do after St. Patrick's Day on a blue moon after sunday. Only to then leap into the air and began beating New Homer's fucking weak ass shins until his foot startee to hurt so he ran over the ballerina, yeeted her to the other side of the building like the fucking dumbard she is, before giving everyone the middle finger and leaving the place like a abusive iltian stepdad. He came back, tipsy as fuck, the next morning, stumbled in without a word, went over the News, patted New Homer's head then, went over to the ballerina and shook her hand, fix up their shit and went into the backroom to sleep in the comfort of what he considered his friends. No homo tho. Category:Workers Category:FTaH2 Category:Characters